


Panic! (In the Living Room)

by ViviCatLover



Series: Creaturae [3]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Gen, Gender? Never heard of her, Please Kill Me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-08-17 10:00:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16514198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViviCatLover/pseuds/ViviCatLover
Summary: Don't you fucking dare. You think to the sky.The next day, she's small, pale, and in your resigned face.





	Panic! (In the Living Room)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all! A sequel, farther into the future than the others!

You blinked in a flinch as another! ANOTHER! Blatantly supernatural creature popped out of nowhere, this particular time an old-as-fuck TV.

“Why didn't you freak out?” The gremlin says with a frustrated, perplexed expression a couple moments after the failed jumpscare.

You shrug. “I dunno. Just..used to it maybe?”

"But you're a  _ normie _ . I would’ve known if you weren’t!" The devious little thing whined. 

"Well." You hedged. "Not...really?" 

It stilled, "What." 

You hurried to elaborate. "I've met like..three major demons and a minor one, a couple minor supes, and a savant, or whatever you call the manifestation of what’s essentially a god, starting three years ago."

The minor supe blinks, processing that. “The fuck.”

“I know, right!” You exclaim, enthused someone else finds it strange. “It’s fucking weird man! Like, I met most of them just, hanging out in my house. Like with you! Or when I’m on vacation with friends! I’ve resorted to just trying to ward everything where I am, while allowing some supes access, and it’s fucking exhausting!”

You gestured to the windows around the living room. “Like, fucking, I had to get these plastic over coverings to make it safe for this one vampire friend and his sort-of datefriend, and it’s so expensive! Oh by the way, what’s your name?”

The gremlin stared at you as you babbled, then answered slowly. “D.Va.”

“That pronounced Diva or D-va?”

“The latter.”

“Okay!” You clapped your hands together. “How long are you staying, and what do you eat? Do you even eat? How will your presence affect my electronics? Is there a way to block you? Is there a way to make things safe for you to pass through, so you don’t short it out?” With the last question, you gesture to the old-as-dirt spare TV D.Va (were they a she?) was sticking out of. 

D.Va blinks. “Uhm. I don’t know a lot of that stuff. As far as I know, I short out stuff if I choose to, I guess. You could insulate the wires a lot to block me, maybe? I can ingest gold, because it’s conductive and makes movement easier, but I always get rid of it later and don’t really need to eat, I still taste stuff.”

You clap your hands together. “Okay, now that I know all this, wanna stick around? Or have you got somewhere to be? Lotta people run off when supes like you visit.”

D.Va’s face changes to thoughtful, and then mischievous. “I stream stuff to the supernatural viewers of the world, but if you’re okay with that and being filmed on occasion, then sure I guess.”

You nodd eagerly, so very naive. And so began the series of D.va Related Incidents.

D.Va moved in their stuff, to your screeching betrayal, over the next few weeks. On the third day you finally think to ask, ”Pronouns?” After a bunch of people D.Va got from the internet left.

D.Va turned from waving them goodbye. “She/her, I think.”

“Ya think?” You raise an eyebrow.

“No base gender.” D.Va elaborates.

“Ah.” You nod faux-seriously.

\----

D.Va cackled as she popped out of the TV she first arrived in. 

You sighed longsufferingly. “What’d you do now?”

“Scrambled the nuclear launch codes.”

“Which ones?”

“What ones DIDN’T I do!”

You sighed, again. You were doomed. But at least you weren’t doomed via nuclear war.

\----

You rubbed your eyes, trying to get some semblance of awareness to deal with what you were looking at. 

D.va was the first to notice you as she tried to pat out a small electric fire on the sofa, which was now both singed and covered in faded bloodstains. 

“IT WASN’T ME!” D.Va shrieked, jerking her hands up and away in a classic show of surrender. 

Zenyatta, floating serenely in the middle of the room, somehow gave off an aura of severely repressed wrath and menace.

He nodded at you in greeting. “Host. I was talking to the...creature...here.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose and sighed, then gestured at where Genji was sitting in a suspiciously sheltered, and unscathed to boot, corner. “And  _ why _ didn’t  _ you _ help calm things down?”

Genji gave you a slightly panicked stare. “I-I know better than to get in Sensei’s way, ‘s all.”

He shrank under your unimpressed and wrathful look. 

“S-sorry.” Genji squeaked out.

\----

You were so fucking done. With all of these.  _ Shenanigans. In your home. _

You blinked, squeezing the lids harder as ‘Back in Black’ blasted from your computer speakers, a coffee cup in hand, hair rumpled, and back slumped. 

“D.Va what the-”

“SURPRISE!” D.Va burst out of the computer to tackle you in a hug.

“Oof.” You deadpanned. You looked up at the excited creature. “What.”

D.va’s arms flailed a little as she crouched on your chest. “COMIC CON’S IN A MONTH!!”

“So??”

“WE SHOULD TOTALLY GOOOO!!”

“Ugh.” You groaned, and rolled over. “Too looooud.”

“Come on!” D.va shrieked shrilly, making your eardrums throb at the inhuman pitch. “IT’LL BE GREAT!”

“Why do you even want to go…”

“BECAUSE!” D.Va flails more. “STARCRAFT! KERRIGAN! BLIZZARD! ALL OF THAT!”

“I can get behind Kerrigan.” You agree from where D.Va had you pinned to the floor, suddenly more alert at the possibility that now that you have something in common, (a love of games that are as kickass as they are old) you might be able to figure out how to bribe D.va into settling down a little with video game merchandise.

You hissed out a “Fuck.” as the coffee spill suddenly registered. You shoved off D.va, ignoring her ‘hey!’, and dove for the paper towels, which you gathered up and practically threw at the rapidly drying stain. 

As the coffee was soaked up and you pressed on the paper towels you swung your head up to glare hotly at D.va. “What the fuck?!” You hissed. “Think of my bank account for once, D.va!”

The gremlin giggled before waving a hand nonchalantly. “It’s fine, bro! I’ve been putting like, an eighth of my proceeds from my shows into it, we could probably buy a yacht by now and have, like, two thousand left over.”

“Wait,” You sat up fully from where you had pushed yourself up with one arm and raised a finger, eyebrows drawn low. “Are you saying I can get some futons. Finally. After all this time of sleeping on my nigh-junkeresque, damaged to literal hell, couch. I can actually get something comfortable, or even multiple things that are comfortable.” 

D.va nodded slowly. 

You stand up and go for the door.

“I'm going shopping. If anyone or anything shows up, damage stuff and I'm not letting you near any of our new cushions.”

When you came back, four hours later, D.Va was chanting “bored bored bored bored vored wait fuck-” as you opened the door.

You survey the scene and nod to yourself with a serious face. “Perfection.”

D.Va sighs and rolls her eyes. “That one's  _ old _ .” She points out.

“Yeah, so what.” You grin at her.

“Ugh.” D.Va flops onto the couch to the sound of your chuckles. Her exasperation is music to your ears.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos feed my hungry brain idea pools. Headcanons welcome, don't be surprised if they end up in the story.


End file.
